In Defense of the Breast Plate

This is the second post I’ve done without major 3d modeling content so I’ll try to keep this somewhat short. My last one, a background piece, was long. Maybe long enough people lost interest but I hope it was satisfying for those who read it.  I like background so it kept me entertained to write a foundation piece for a mythos I’m slowly creating with my miniatures. Not that GW’s existing mythos isn’t entertaining, just, sometimes you want to do something new and interesting.  Really the primary impitous behind this is that I want to kill sometime while waiting for miniatures to arrive so I can blog them.

Anyway, this time I wanted to blog a bit about an aspect of my personal projects that has gotten me some flak in my gaming circles.  Namely, as one female gamer put it, my “Fetish for Tit Armor”.  Now I don’t expect this to matter to a lot of gamers.  Sexy armor is as old a fantasy trope as Eleves being archers or Dwarves carrying hammers.  But the propensity of games to do “babe” armor on their miniatures has been criticized recently.

There are a number of bloggers that have attacked chainmail bikini’s and skimpy space suits with a vehemence that makes you less than proud to be gamers.  The often spoken notion that gaming is becoming less of a man’s hobby has encouraged these critiques.  This is generally done out of the perception that the sexy armor trope is sexist and thus should be discarded.

Obviously not everyone feels that way, and I myself don’t as you could have guessed from the title of this article. It’s hard to form a cogent argument against something like this.  The perception goes that if you support the sexy armor trope you are automatically a sexist pig, and admittedly there are a lot of those in the hobby.  But beyond that I really think very few people really have considered why armor like that exists in fantasy or scifi literature.

I’ve heard a lot of arguments against sexy armor.  The most prominent among these arguments being safety and/or impracticality.  This argument goes that receding body coverage is unsafe on the battlefield or simply impractical to be considered armor.  I always agree with this to an extent but it’s also an issue of cultural subjectivity.  There has been an obsession in first world nations with the value of human life for a long time now.  Throughout the first world nations in Europe the movement from hide and leather armors to part and full plate has captured the imagination of fantasy authors.  To such a point that we interpret full plate armor as the standard of the world when it isn’t now nor was it then.  The more affluent countries in Europe and other areas like Japan used full armor extensively for hundreds of years but that wasn’t the norm.  Throughout Asia, Africa, Mesoamerica the standard was lighter armor that protected the core of the body and the head.  Limbs, regardless of how important to you or I were considered expendable and rarely armored.  These lighter armor often left large swaths of the body exposed. They also tended to hang on the body making female anatomy more visible when women were allowed to be warriors.  The fantasy trope of the nomad barbarian half naked living among beasts is essentially true in some parts of the world.  The primary concern with these lighter armors was generally speed and maneuverability.  Segments of the body, like arms and legs, were uncovered so the soldier didn’t have as much weight to move while in action.  Even into the middle ages common soldiers were only lightly armored. Archers rarely wore anything more than chain shirts, while city watches and spearmen were lucky to have breast plates to shield their hearts and lungs.

Other arguments include that it’s entirely an aesthetics issue.  That the idea of curvy armor only has the purpose of being pleasing to the eye, specifically the male eye.  Again this is quite true to some extent. As a man I admit that female curves are attractive, that’s why most sports cars are so curvy.  It’s just bred into me to like those soft curves.  At the same time that isn’t the only thing that is forged into those curves.  Most men can attest that there are times when women are simply frightening.  Like a tigress protecting their young a woman can be more fierce and brutal than any man could hope to be. Along with the attraction of those curves a woman’s body calls to mind that absolute willingness to destroy anything that threatens her family.  This dichotomy of beauty and ruthlessness is a part of femininity that shouldn’t be forgotten. Stopping sexism is all about gender equality but it also is tempered with the truth that some things men or women can’t do.  No one can complain that women not peeing standing up is sexist, it’s a fact of human physiology and as such must be accepted. All we can do is offer equal bathroom facilities and be done with it. It’s true that women can be soldiers just as well as men can but we must also acknowledge that they have tools at their disposal that men don’t. Both the disarming allure of the female body and the frightening ferocity of a woman’s mental and biological drive to fight for what she holds dear are weapons that men rarely can achieve.  There is a psychological component to warfare that aesthetics plays a big part in.  No matter how gruesome we don’t question the idea of littering things with skulls and wicked blades in table top gaming.  The ancient Greeks would mold chiseled abs and pecks into their body armor for psychological effects.  There are even some accounts of Pict women fighting naked on the battle field against roman soldiers.  Regardless of how you feel about the female form arguing that because it’s aesthetically pleasing doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a place on the battle field.  That may mean it has more of a place there than you’d like to admit.

Bullet trap cleavage theory, somewhat addressed as a safety issue, is also one particular argument trotted out.  This goes essentially that the cleavage shape on a breast plate makes it either A. funnel weapons fire to the heart, or B. structurally unsound.  There is some scientific evidence that would support this except for the fact that no scientific study has ever been done that actually examines this.  As a practical issue in melee combat the “breast” shape of the armor is no more or less effective against blows.  At range, any shot that would fall inside the “V” of the cleavage was already a center of mass shot which if it has the velocity to penetrate your armor was already a kill shot anyway regardless of whether it glances to the heart or passes through the lung.  I read one very scientific sounding article that said a women falling on her face in breast armor would die from a shattered sternum. An interesting scientific quandary that totally ignores any internal padding worn under fitted armor.  As though, the soldier was totally naked under the armor.  There is a certain amount of truth that surface bends, such as the concave cleavage area, are structurally less durable than a convex surface.  But most male armors aren’t a simple convex shape like classic plate armor.  They are often just as sculpted, albeit as a male body or generic design, as a female armor plate. The issue here is simply it may be less structurally sound than a classic breast plate but is it any less structurally sound than the male counter parts? Truth be told probably not.

There are of course concepts I can’t really defend in the field of sexy armor.  I don’t understand the concept of combat heels.  High heels have no purpose other than to affect posture.  Some shoe design are intended to shift the weight of the body off the heel towards the ball of the foot but there really is no evidence they would serve a tactical purpose.  There could be said to be a cultural significance to the incorporation of heels in a female boot.  If the culture has a specific focus on feminine posture as a key sexual trait of women you could lump that into the argument for aesthetics of psychological warfare.  However from my perspective the added mobility of flats vs heels on the battlefield would trump any psychological benefits.  Alternatively, in science fiction settings where zero G combat is the norm magnetic, spring, or rocket heels would be a tactical advantage but only if the heel actually represented these design integrations, a normal heel would still be a detriment to movement.

Of course the overriding reason that is the real impetus behind these arguments is simply that it makes female gamers uncomfortable.  Truthfully, some portrayals make me uncomfortable too a lot of the time.  There is always a balance between a strong feminine characteristic and a sexpot pinup girl.  It’s sometimes hard to fix where that line is drawn in your mind. It generally has to come down to the question of is this sexy for no other reason than its sexy to me, or is it part of some larger design aesthetic that is helping me represent a kick ass character that also happens to be female, and yes sexy to some degree.  Truthfully the worst offenders in my opinion are GW’s Madonna Warriors.  I’m ashamed to own a Sisters of Battle army even though I got it second hand.  And over the years as I tried to push the sisters out of the army first by adding storm troopers and then by adding inquisitor retinues I’ve come to grips with the fact that the army is just sexist drivel.  The Power Corsets and bra’s pointier than their swords is of course now considered quant in 40k.  They are a throwback to the age of 1980s female rockers like Madonna and Cindy Lauper.  That doesn’t make them right with modern sensibilities but at least it makes them somewhat understandable.

I could go on and on but really I have made my point. Generally the truth is that sexy armor isn't just about sexism.  There are real reasons that armor should be feminine.  Femininity is a part of the human condition.  The idea that women must emulate men to be perceived as strong is has been an aspect of the women’s liberation movement and its one that has been changing slowly.  Women can be feminine and still be strong without giving up what makes them feminine. Those who balk at the female form on the table top I must ask is it the sexy armor you don’t care for or is there something so psychologically terrifying about the idea that women are part of your gaming reality that you are afraid to acknowledge their right to be there and be themselves, in the game or playing the game.

Star Marine Heavy Armor, Softsuit Variant, Outfitted for Female Operator.
The Softsuit variant of the Star Marine Heavy Armor replaces the Tactics and Logistics Capsule  (TLC) for a breast plate of hardened thermo-ferric composites. The term Softsuit is something of a misnomer as the armor has nearly the same level of operator protection as its TLC equipped Hardsuit cousin.  Often used in atmosphere or controlled environment engagements where total vacuum seal is unnecessary.  It is favored by officers for its mobility and freedom of vision not afford by the TLC's visual assist systems.  The body of a Softsuit is fitted to its occupant in a process that is performed by the operator's house, often making some or all of the suit's equipment a heraldic heirloom.

Star Marine Joslyn of House Crowan being fitted for heavy armor.

A Fluff Piece

Imperial Archive Item 978-2-9002999818-1. 
Excerpt from Prime Austerean Hercanius’s Treatis on the History and Culture of the Star Marines
Transcript of videolog 17… Dated 9^th of Azzigas Vorpal, in the Year of our Empress Ompheria 2013
Marker 1. Origins and Legends of the Star Marines
Screens 23 to 37
Sol Prime Institute of Philosophy:  Department of Reasonist History: Chair Ameritus, Master of Reason, Physician of Imperial History, First Duke of Io, the Lourde Prime Austerean  Hercanius of the Noble House Thormalian by way of House Xaratian

… to best understand the nature of the Star Marines one must understand the anvil upon which they were forged.

               Officially the Star Marines are comprised of those noble households who carry the title of Knight of Stars in Service to the Empress.  However this was not always the case.  In the early days of colonial expansion before the formation of the Empire Solus Humanity was ruled by various competing religious organizations known as Corporations. It is believed that this early colonization effort was done in effort to seek freedom from religious censure.   As such these Corporations lead the people’s spiritual journey even as they funded their physical migration across the stars.

                For several hundred years mankind expanded across the Orion Spur.  During this period humanity encountered countless worlds teaming with life however sentient life proved elusive.  It was eventually hypothesized by Reasonists that while life was common sentience was a cosmic rarity reserved for only a handful of species throughout the galaxy, possibly the universe.  This lead humanity to define the “Mandate of the Heavens”.  The mandate was a political and social doctrine expounded as part of the Corporate religions of the day. It stated that humanity, due to its intelligence, was entitled to colonize the galaxy without end.

               Without external conflict it was inevitable that humanity created conflict from within.  The Corporations divided humanity along lines of their particular faiths.  Coupled with the relative isolation of early colonies due to the primitive nature of spacial travel the result was drastic cultural drift between colonies.  Social, economic, and political rifts between the colonies and their governments resulted in war.

               A group of colonies petitioned to secede from the colonial government.  What followed has variously been called the Civil War II, the War of 10 Corporations, and the First Imperial War. Lasting 14 years various Corporations formed military organizations and swallowed other colonies.  Secessionists fighting for freedom from the oppressive theocracy of monetization formed a new organization.  A culture of merit based on nobility and coherent family social structures was formed.  Nearly 2000 years ago the outmoded religious worship of wealth  was swept away and the First Emperor Volcunas The First united the colonies under the banner of the Empire Solus.

               In their earliest inception the Star Marines functioned as a militant arm for one of the many Corporation Theocracies.  They proved themselves to be highly skilled and honorable warriors during the war.  Thus Emperor Volcunas took them into his service and granted them title of nobility within the empire in return for their fealty.

               The Star Marines and their households were integrated into the structure of the nobility and ordered by Emperor Volcunas to toil in service to the Skylourde.  For much of the life span of the Empire they did just that.  The Star Marines became feared acting in the name of the Skylourdes in service of the Emperor.  But this was not to be their destiny for as we know we are not alone in the galaxy.

               In 1818 of the new imperial calendar the outer colonies were struck by a powerful imminent threat.  The Aether invaded human space to “cleans” planets of human “infestation”.  Though it would take the empire much time to know the Aether’s intent it was immediately clear they were a technologically superior malignant force.

               Perhaps most tragically humanity’s only saving grace was the thorough and methodical nature of the Aether’s attempted Genocide.  Colony by colony the Aether deployed their fleets in blockade systematically hunting and eradicating humans regardless of their age, race, or affiliations.  Emperor Tricerras and the Conclave of Noble Houses proposed diplomatic solutions and refused to hear propositions to the contrary.

               Then Skylourde Daltrian made a pact with the crown prince Voldayaas to assassinate the Emperor.  Prince Trivoltas, second in line to the throne, discovered the plot and called his brother out in council.  But by then it was too late Emperor Tricerras died by heart failure attributed to pulmonary micro fissures likely caused by nano-explosives inside the heart wall.   Voldayaas and Trivoltas both declared themselves Emperor before the funeral rights were complete and the War of Succession began.

               During this time the Aether had the run of the outer colonies.  It was widely claimed that the Imperial Core Provinces were better protected. And with good reason, many sectors included both Provincial Defense Fleets as peace keeping and humanitarian forces as well as the Independent Noble Fleets used to protect the shipping interests of the Nobility.  During the War of Succession these fleets were mobilized by various groups to fight for various governmental factions. Initially it was merely a quarrel between bothers as Voldayaas and Trivoltas fought for the throne.  However other factions appeared and vied for political or economic superiority.

               With the war taking its toll in the Provinces the Colonies were left to fend for themselves. Less wealthy, and often with limited military and technological resources the Colonies stood little chance against the Aether. Refugee fleets migrated core ward with each newly decimated colony.  Survivors of the atrocities were rare but other colonies were easily inspired to evacuate.  In the provinces the refugees found little respite as military forces were often used to blockade their entry or otherwise engaged in military actions of their own.

               For their part the Star Marines refused deployment until the Empire was stable again.  Skylourde Daltrian ordered the household lands of the Star Marines ceased claiming they were in violation of their oaths.  In response the Star Marines declared then 3^rd princess Collianna the rightful heir of the throne.  As the princess was merely 13 and no female had inherited the throne in a thousand years the Star Marines were publicly mocked for their allegiance.  But that mocking ended following the summary execution of Skylourde Daltrian.

               Claiming orders from the Empress the Star Marines publically forsook their homes.  In a broad public show they burned their ancestral homes and joined into a single fleet.  While vastly outnumbered the Star Marines were quite a fighting force and dispatched any forces that stood in their way.  They didn’t bother attempting to capture strategic systems instead battling their way to Sol where they enthroned the Empress. One there they left a small but well-armed honor guard and took the primary fleet into the Colonies.

               For many among the nobility it became a simple choice, support one of the brothers who had been fighting a bloody war across the Provinces or accept the arguably illegitimate rule of their younger sister who willingly sacrificed her own safety to protect the Colonies.  For the people the choice was much simpler. After two years of war and the constant threat of annihilation from the Aether the Empress was a sign of change and hope, a fresh beginning.

               Initially perceived as a week monarch the Empress changed such perceptions by her first declarations in office.  Only days after the Conclave of Noble Houses ratified her coronation the Empress declared the Matriarchy.  The Empire Solus would be ruled by an Empress, the eldest daughter of the ruling house. The eldest son would become Regent of the Empire and master of the ruling house in absence of the Empress.  The second eldest daughter would be the Duchess of Blades, a rank formerly titled Blade Lourde colloquially known as the master of assassins.  The second eldest son would inherit the title of Lourde of the Watch, charged with enforcing the succession and counting the genealogy of the noble houses.

               Some noble houses challenged the decree at first but these challenges were swiftly dealt with by force and often lost in the wash of political intrigue of the day.  Her second decree was even more controversial declaring the War in the Heavens.  The Aether’s action had declared war on all of humanity, and so all of humanity would face them.  The Empire Solus was henceforth at war with the Aether and all production and technology in the Empire would be used, first and foremost, to fight the Aether.  In short order a new Skylourde was appointed and each house of noble birth was ordered to appoint a Skymarshal that would oversee their fleet.  The Noble fleets were distributed across the empire with the responsibility of engaging Aether forces where ever they appeared. At the same time the Homeguard Fleets were to be convert for military use and production of ships and munitions was to be increased.  In the colonies the Star Marines had one task, delay the Aether, the longer they held the more time the Empire had to prepare.

               The Star Marines held the Aether in the colonies for 26 years.  Early engagements didn’t bode well for the Star Marines as Aether forces were clearly superior in technology and number.  They soon adopted an ambush strategy. Operating behind Aether lines the Star Marines fractured into Cavalier Fleets, small rag tag forces mixing elements of Star Marine forces with remnants of colonial militias.  These smaller battle groups could react faster and assault Aether forces with greater haste.  Often breaking Aether blockades and freeing civilians and military forces trapped by them.

               For several years the Aether showed no measurable response to the Star Marine’s tactics.  They continued their systematic approach without change.  It wasn’t until the battle of Caldinocht that the Aether changed their tactics.  Caldinocht was a Colonial shipping hub in the Caldaros sector.  The Aether set upon it with only minor warning but instead of their normal tactic of besieging the planet they pyroformed the planet from orbit.   Their biochemical weapons igniting the planet’s atmosphere and turning all life to ash.  This rightly provoked the Star Marines into open conflict with the Aether.

               As Caldinocht burned the Star Marines descended upon the massed Aether fleet.  For days the Aether held ground as the Star Marines and the Cavalier fleets hurled themselves against their enemy. With the death toll in the billions from the one engagement the Aether finally retreated on the 12^th day. 

Both sides learned much from the conflict.  Alongside their standard battle tactics the Aether began baiting traps to draw the enemy in.  For their part the Star Marines began using outriders forming a loose network of warning systems to inform other fleets and colonies of Aether were movements.  They also learned that while technologically advanced and extremely powerful Aether vessels were cumbersome and impossibly difficult to maneuver.  Soon after Aether ships began being drawn into Star Marine traps.

Thereafter the war became a great game of cat and mouse.  The Aether and the Star Marines fighting to take and keep ground respectively.  The greatest commanders among the Star Marines were able to make the Aether spend a hundred ships to take a single colony.  But for every Aether fleet removed from the game the Star Marines lost a dozen or more.  Each loss meant the Star Marines took another step towards Sol and the eventual extinction of the human race.  Each ship downed was a resource that couldn’t be replaced with ease.

For 26 years they held against a superior foe.  Early on it was believed that the Aether could be stopped simply by attrition but 26 years of attrition proved that wrong.  One thousand three hundred and sixty-two star systems fell to the Aether in those 26 years.  An estimated 42 trillion souls taken, and for each one the Star Marines made the Aether pay dearly.  On the 5^th of Azzigas Nol, 1846 nec the Aetherian 1^st fleet entered the Noridian Province at around 1:42 am local standard time.  They were met by the Veridian and Ordanian Home Fleets and engaged seven minutes later.  The battle would last for 21 days and the Alcarian, Boromian, and 5 other Home Fleets would join the battle before the Aether would retreat. This was the first true victory of the war.

It is unknown if the Aether can understand any of the many human tongues.  It is known they can recognize the Banner of the Stars.  Icon of the Star Marines, a cascade of gold and crimson freckled with 1362 stars.  Raised high upon the bows of the Cavalier fleets that precede the counter strike.  On that day the Aether turned tail and fled before it and they have run from it ever sense. 

We have been at war for two hundred years.  Five generations have faced the Aether and pushed them back into the abyss.  The Star Marines, her royal highness’ Knights of the Stars have lead that charge. They have held the line. They have given more fought harder than any human might in the face of such odds.  Thus you must understand that in the forge of battle and against the anvil of sacrifice and adversity they have been wrought.  Nobility, courage, and sacrifice, the shining light of a star guiding for the sake of all humanity.  As they pledge before the Empress herself, “the War in the Heavens began with an act of Genocide it will end with the very stars quaking at our wrath”.

Behold The Star Marines

I realized I promised a small expose on my Star Marine Heavy Armor last week and have yet to deliver.

Firstly let me say that Star Marines have sort of taken over my imagination.  For the first year or more of my designing I was heavily focused on making "Space Marine Compatible Parts".  Items that could be considered aftermarket parts for GW's space marine line, or related lines.  Now, well, I like GW's line well enough but recent expanses in what I do and how I do it have meant that where before I'd design a shoulder pad or sword for a soldier now I'm designing whole figures and complete families of weapons.  Its a large difference that erodes the marriage between Warhammer 40k and my 3d modeling.

The point is that while my 3d bits are usable for 40k I'm no longer exclusively focusing on using them there as exemplified by the appearance of new weapons that don't have a standard analog in the 40k rules.  Ultimately when starting the Star Marine Heavy Armor design I had to, or rather got to, consider a wider array of science fiction details when creating them.  I love 40k but its a restrictive environment to design for.  While the background of 40k has been rich and vibrant for years the design studio's literary and artistic choices are tightly controlled.  As Games Workshop grows there is less and less room for outside artists to create anything "lasting" in the 40k universe.

Obviously I don't expect Games Workshop to change their fluff to fit my projects in.  But with the unpredictable shifts of fluff and what is official army design it makes it impossible to really create something and say it will last for any length of time.  That's their prerogative, its their universe, I have no say in the matter.  However I'd argue that most miniatures gamers would like to at least pretend all their assembly and hard work would last and maybe all their scratch building was at least theirs not the manufacturers vision.  Custom painting on chapter color schemes and pinning and glueing new poses on your officers can only take an army so far.

When I started looking, I mean really looking, at what I loved about Space Marines in the Warhammer 40k setting I had to admit it was some very specific things that games workshop really didn't do very well portraying.  Firstly, in a setting ostensibly devoid of advanced technology the Space Marines are top of the line.  Secondly personality wise the marines are essentially space knights, ok maybe monastic knights but knights in space.  And third they are elite warriors, a tragic brotherhood of arms destined to die fighting a pointless war.

In context Space Marines in 40k aren't particularly advanced.  While their armor is advanced it really doesn't look it and most weapons they use have been co-opted into the imperial guard either as man portable heavy weapons or simply special weapons to outfit squads of standard soldiers.  Their vehicles and aesthetic choices are less technologically advanced than they are, metal slab construction from the industrial revolution.  I suppose it fits the setting but doesn't really speak to what I love about them in the fluff.

Space Marine chapters, while regimented functioning as a fighting force are less knightly in action than they are barbarous in play.  There is a strong game play emphasis away from armies facing down their enemy with some kind of chivalrous code and more towards massed fire or super weapons to deal with any comers.  Arguably each official chapter has its own roots and play style.  If you want space knights pick up black templars, at least until they get a new codex and then they'll be less chivalrous knights and more blood thirsty nutters with swords chained to their hands.  The old deathwing always sounded in the fluff as awesome elite knights facing enemies in single combat but now they are heavy weapon wielding crazies that stay at mid range shooting people from the dark.  Sad.

Of course my biggest problem is the elite nature of the Space Marines.  They are supposed to be big, they are outnumbered but fight on.  They breath so they fight on.  They fight so they can keep fighting.  To call a fluff space marine a soldier is a misnomer.  They are samurai, they are immortals, they are shinobi, they are black ops, they are devil dogs, ultimately they are the marines.  the best of the best, they fight against odds and against time to save their crumbling empire.  But marines are all to routine now. They were once elite but with the advent of more unique codex options in other books their prices have dwindled compared to the mass of weaponry other armies produce.  The result is that while many armies claim to be a horde army the marines feel like one.  They have no unique mechanics or super amazing troop options just the same bland sameness in each area of the org chart.  This coupled with the push to require more and more troops results in largely samely built units in armies that are built the same as the next guy.  People complain about spam, space marines have become spam in a can. A largely identical codex sprinkled with minor amounts of franks red hot sauce in the hopes that people will mistake the burn for flavor.

Why is this important? well when I think of all these truths I wanted to reach into other parts of science fiction to fill all those missing rolls.  My biggest inspiration is of course, Star Ship Troopers. Hienlein's novels are powerful fiction and while repeatedly adapted, even into a table top game, they are rarely portrayed as I always envisioned them.  Perhaps its the fact that no official vision of them exists that makes me so enamored with the design.  I've also chosen heavy influences from anime series's like Armored Trooper Votoms and Gundam 079 and 080.  Their down to earth tactical portrayal of future combat with mech suits and power armor are great inspiration for anyone wondering what space combat might one day become.

So lets talk Star Marines...

Here we see the Star Marine Heavy Armor in its entirety.  This unposed version is built in a modular manner. each body part is its own color as seen here.  This allows me to pose the armor in virtually any pose then solidify it to make a final model.  As a master model it also allows me to construct parts for the design quickly and easily.  You'll notice that the design appears much more technologically advanced than many 28mm soldier models.  I've made a concerted effort to make the soldier's power armor look both practical in terms of its defensive value, and in terms of its strength enhancement capabilities.  In the 40k setting marines are strong before they put on the armor.  Here the standard soldier wears a hydrolic suit to achieve the same thing.  I wanted the super human nature of the warrior to come not from some biological enhancement but from what they do with what they are given.  Its after all, the use of tools that has made humanity survivors throughout history, we adapt or die.

The armored torso of the Star Marine Heavy Armor is designed to be asexual. I'm a huge fan of representing femininity on the battlefield as both a character and a weapon but here the protective value of the armor is its primary function, not its aesthetics.  The front of the torso is heavily armored, its abdomen guarded with articulated segmented plates.  It's chest sweeps up the front of the body becoming a full head and shoulder armor.  The hard carapace protects body and mounts various sensory devices on its outer hull.  A variant torso depicts the chest armor open, its upper canopy pulled back to reveal the operator's face. the The only exposed cabling on the torso is along the shoulder joint wrapping around behind to connect the power lead from the power pack.  The cabling here used not for internal power systems but to run induction power through the arms of the suit to weaponry when necessary.  When mounted with a shoulder pad the exposed cabling is protected from attack except from directly underneath the arm.  I am proud to point out how much the armor's torso looks like a Sontaron soldier.

The arm itself is a beefy structure.  It isn't just armor but power cables and hydrolic systems as well.  The arms were roughly inspired by artwork from the graphic novel "Starship Troopers: dominant species"  there the armor of the mobile infantry is depicted as bulky powered armored space suits.  The arm structure is traditionally human, covered in large molded plates and jointed to allow for maximum movement.  The hands of these models are modular.  there is a 1.5mm peg that allows you to swap weapon hands, here I've used closed fists but my final sprues include fists, pistol grips, and open hands for weapon carrying.  The back of the hand has a thick plate which includes an induction port, a place to plug in weapons so they can charge or run off the power pack of the Star Marine's armor.

Here we see the shoulder pad.  Its big and bulky covering the entire shoulder and most of the way down the arm.  Games Workshop claims the general size and shape of their official shoulder pads as their IP but the general size and even its ribbed rim are natural extensions of military systems.  The large size the armored infantry will traditional walk strait forward, these large bulky shoulder pads protect the warrior from glancing rounds fired from all sides.  It also protects from impacts from weapons directed at the weakest spot of the chest carapace, the shoulder joint.  The softer side of the torso is also blocked by the long body of the shoulder armor.  The ribbing helps prevent the layered polymers of the armor separating after impacts that might be jaring enough to break the lamination bonds.  It also helps deflect glancing melee weapons away from armor seams.  Lastly and most importantly for my design, it serves as a potential mounting point for the shoulder weaponry used by hienlein's Mobile Infantry.

The back of the armor is more delicate in design than the front.  With it's bulky plates the front of the armor is extremely durable but the back mounts the machinery necessary to operate the suit.  On top we see the external data leads used to connect the armor's internal systems to vehicle equipment.  Directly on the shoulder blades and upper back are the power distribution systems that allow the suit to power weapon attachments and enhance the wearer's strength.  Below that along the small of the back and down the gluts is the hydraulic actuators that carry the majority of the armor's weight.  Sensors along this hydraulic spine allow the armor's on-board computers to detect the wearer's movements and respond accordingly with varying degrees of dexterity and force.  These systems while durable enough for military deployment are more lightly armored than the front of the suit's carapace.

The armor has internal power cells that store power for basic operation of the on-board computers and even to some degree the hydrolic systems. However for extended operation an external power source is needed.  The heavy armor's power pack is used for just such purposes.  Its basic body houses a basic oxygen generator for space operation, essential survival supplies like radiation stims and field rations, as well as a water purifier.  Most importantly the armored power pack houses twin micro fusion power generators. These tiny micro reactors are activated in combat allowing the suit to amp strength and power external weaponry as needed.  Their power output can charge the internal power cells and even generate enough power to operate small electric vehicles.  Due to the nature of the reactors massive amounts of heat are generated, this is vented through specialized exhaust ports mounted to vent heat up and away behind the soldier's head.  These ports help minimize the heat signature of the armor until absolutely necessary.

The legs of the Star Marine Heavy Armor are as intricate as the torso's sophisticated power systems.  Often over looked by other companies I wanted you to feel a practical aspect to the legs, not just, armored space pants.  Here we can examine the all terrain boots with their bulky armored exterior and chunky metal traction units.  The ankle and front of knees and legs are protected with reinforced plating to prevent debilitating extremity shots.  Along the back of the lower legs you can just make out the hydraulic support structure that helps distribute weight for the armor and keep balance.  Much of the armor's hydraulics of the suit are dedicated to supporting its own weight, without these systems a marine would be crushed by the weight of their own armor.  The hydraulic support distributes the weight down the outside of the legs into the reinforced boots.  No where are the hydraulics more exposed to weapons fire than here where the armor's designs necessitates them on the sides rather than back of the armor.  For this reason the important equipment is protected by over lapping plates running up the leg where it joins the hip belt and back hydraulic distribution network.

Star Marines are suitably impressive warriors and so they need suitably impressive weapons.  Enter the Gravity Hammer.  Star Marines are suitably impressive masters of technology.  Their heavy weapons are often made man portable by a gravity sling and deployment vehicles often employ antigravity technology to fly.  Though generally benignly used to lower gravitational forces similar technology can be used to amplify gravity.  The gravity hammer is one such application of the technology.  This is the first in a line that may eventually encompass my entire "techno" weapon line.  The gravity hammer is designed to be sleek and elegant and at the same time as practical as possible.  It bars a sweeping arc shape to its head like it was designed to be swung through the air.  At the same time its heft is detailed to add grip to security in the owner's hand.  Rounded out by a power unit at its pummel.

The Gravity hammer is an electronic device made by the military.  It uses a standard military power distribution block.  At the end of the power block is a photon charge pack. This specialized power cell is used to power weaponry, and indeed is a shared feature of all my "Advanced" line energy weapons.  On the left face you can see the photon charge port used to charge the weapon for use.  The port can be used to charge the photon charge pack or when connected to a suit's induction port can directly power the weapon from the micro fusion generator of the suit.  In a pinch you can always swap the charge packs as well.  On the face we can see the system read out control. Seen here, upside down the controls have an LCD panel and several control function buttons the operator can use to change settings on the weapon.  Not seen, on the reverse side, is the standard circuit breaker used on all "advanced" line weapons insuring safe operation and preventing over load of the photon charge pack.

The head of the gravity hammer scene in profile. Like the gravity device on my jetbike design, the gravity hammer's head has a hollow center.  The smaller gravity sling I also envision with a hollow center. It's here that gravity device creates an artificial gravity point. A collection entangled dark matter that is used to amplify the weapon's weight.  Biometric computers in the hammer link with on-board armor computers to detect body movement in order to determine when the user is attacking.  During an attack the weapon's computer systems initiate a gravity surge amplifying the mass of the hammer head between 200 and 300 times.  At the point of impact the blow can hit with as much force as 13 tonnes per square centimeter.  After striking the computer cycles back the gravity surge to normal levels allowing the operator to maintain control.

The use of shields in futuristic melee combat is a rarity but the Star Marines employ them to great effect on heavy armor.  Star Marines in Heavy Armor are often the focal point of enemy ranged fire and as such the Mater Shields are vital to the longevity of the troops.  Matter shields involve a complex magnetosphere that generates an ionized plasma field around the shields face. The result is a barrier that absorbs energy and causes matter to ablate on contact.  This same technology is deployed in large scale on Star Marine vehicles.

The Matter Shield is a compact device.  Internally a shielded electro-magnet rotates within a bath of exotic matter exciting molecules along the face of the sheild to firce ionize then plasmize as the excitation accelerates.  At the core is a low grade magnetic resinator collects the plasma flat along the surface.  Blade like heat sinks dissipate thermal energy along the edge of the shield making it both a defensive weapon and, in a pinch, an offensive one.  Matter Shield models are mounted with a Star Marine Hand already locked into the photon charge port of the shield to give it power.

And that about wraps up this look at the initial Star Marine Heavy Armor release.  I've begun working on additional support options for these suits including techno-fist options, shoulder mounted weapons, and some added melee / ranged options.  Additional in the works will be Star Marine Light Armor, with both male and female variants.  If I ever get the chance I'll also post some background for my Star Marine designs.

Wargaming's Future (3/19/2013)

I haven’t spent a huge amount of time on my blog over the past several months.  Mostly my time has been dedicated to completing some commissions.  But I’ve been slipping into designing some cool bits now and then when the inspiration strikes.  On the one hand I’m proud of the commission work I’m doing but I feel I’m doing a bit of disservice to my readers and all those who order my items.  I know I’ve got a small stack of requests in my in box and a couple of errors on printed items that I need to get to.  I promise you that I’ll get around to them ASAP now that my free time is becoming mine again.

I semi-officially finished my largest commission last Tuesday.  I only await the final approval on the models to know that I’m definitively done.  I’d love to share with you the fruits of those projects but due to confidentiality agreements I can’t. Suffice it to say it was a huge challenge and I’m quite proud to have done it.  Now that I can get back to my own projects I’ve jumped on my star marines again.

When I started making my female space marines I jokingly referred to them as “Star Marines”.  This was as much a tongue in cheek reference to GW’s product as it was an example of my insecurity over the idea of barrowing on the Games Workshop mythos.  I am a huge fan of Warhammer 40k and the models of Games Workshop but the older their world gets the less I feel at home in it.

I could chalk this up to my age but I don’t really believe that’s the case. I still watch power rangers and read comic books so age isn’t the issue. The issue is Games Workshop is reinventing itself.  It’s been doing it for years and on the one hand being the Madonna of its industry is what makes it great.    On the other hand reinvention always leaves someone out in the cold. And that someone in this case is me.

I’m willing to bet that it’s a lot of other people too.  I’m not afraid of change but change, reinvention, can’t be for its own sake.  To often we take for granted that change will be good or bad and generally fail to acknowledge that the scary part of change isn’t its good or bad points but the lack of control we have over it. Games Workshop has changed Warhammer 40k a lot over the years and while we can say over and over that it’s changes aren’t all bad we must admit that some of them are.

Which brings me to 6^th edition 40k.  I started playing 40k back in 2^nd edition and back then the land scape or “meta” if you want to believe in that, was a lot like it is now.  There were a lot of people spoiling to play cool new things that could be done with the game books.  But back then Games Workshop accomplished the same thing with a lot less money and a lot less man power.  People were inspired less by Games Workshop’s fluff background and more by their own imaginations.  And people took absurd ideas and ran with them for hours upon hours of conversion and gameplay fun.

Today with the freshness of 6^th edition, the newly revised whitedwarf, and the quicker pace of releasing Games Workshop has captured that anything can happen vibe of Rogue Trader.  But in doing so what have they spent.  In terms of money? In terms of manpower? In terms of long term viability of the products they produce?  I’m not really qualified to speak on the time, effort, and money Games Workshop has spent to revitalize 40k.  What I can say is I’m not sure its sustainable.

Games Workshop has started trying new things and that’s good in the long run.  But they haven’t been terribly good at what they have tried.  6^th edition 40k is still a terribly hard to explain game for very little reason.  Contrary the to popular belief the rules for playing toy soldiers are very easy to articulate.  Any 8 year old can explain them, I shoot you, you die.  We all love rolling dice, we all love watching enemy and even allied soldiers get removed as casualties.  Games Workshop keep’s making that complicated.  Arguably this is done to making teams balanced but everyone can attest that, while the most balanced it’s been in years, 40k is not balanced so all that extra writing and layers of rules technicalities is a waste.  Beyond that every rule in the big book pretty much has an exception in one or more army books anyway making it less a rules guide than a bunch of things you have to remember to ignore but only when X is on the field anyway.

I have a 7 year old nephew.  A 7 year old nephew that is part of my table top roleplaying group.  We play a lot of different games but his favorite is Star War D6.  A game played with fists full of D6s and lots of brash fun gunslingers shooting at each other.  I tried teaching him Warhammer 40k. a game that is arguably very similar to the WEG Star Wars experience.  He lost interest after 15 minutes.

Perhaps 7 years old is the wrong age to learn mass combat games.  Maybe I’m not a good gaming instructor.  Or maybe there are just too many rules and to many exceptions for a child to track. I don’t really know.  The trouble is that most of the gamers I know are table top gamers because they started young.  I started at around 7 or 8 myself with RPGs and moved to wargames at 10 or 11.  My Nephew actually totally grasps the concept of characters, line of sight, hit points, armor saves, and all of that.  He just doesn’t care about look out sirs, overwatch, snap fire, anything that is a USR, or why some models get feels no pain and others don’t.

At the end of the day Games Workshop’s new more engaging business model just doesn’t make for a healthy game.  As a current gamer it’s nice that things are more balanced. It’s great that we are getting new kits faster.  It’s nice that unasked questions are being faq’d sooner.  It’s even nice that I can spend my money on a poorly designed digital product instead of an over designed print product.  But when it comes down to it balance, speed of releases, faqs, and even digital or print products aren’t the barriers to entry on the game.

At a time when the entire world has seen economic distress the biggest issue is now and always will be price and service.  Games Workshop’s constantly up sloping prices coupled with relatively poor customer service and the constant feeling that whatever I buy will be devalued in the game by 6 to 10 weeks out make it hard for a current gamer to justify the price tag.  At the same time while other games have maintained a reasonably price tag for their core products and an extremely low price tag for their starter sets, Games Workshop continues the trend of uniform prices across the board. This means new gamers can’t buy into the game to get hooked without a friend that’s already in the hobby and spent the money.

As a gamer I’m an advocate for gaming. I love gaming and believe everyone who plays is in some way better for playing.  But I can buy a DnD starter set for 20 bucks, all the core books for 60, and a bunch of plastic DnD miniatures for a buck a piece. For Warhammer 40k I spend 65 bucks for the core book, another 60 for my army book and then 100 plus for a bare bones starter army that isn’t even always complete to play and is rarely what you actually want.  I’m not sure I can advocate that as easily as I can other aspects of the hobby.

Maybe that’s the point though, Games Workshop is trying to change the dynamic of the hobby.  It seems clear they don’t want it accessible to just anyone.  Constant price rises, pushes to remove services from 3^rd party retailers, and even the semi-mainstream effort put into forge world are attempts at elitism within the hobby.  Games Workshop’s goal is to push people towards their in house distribution.  As an example, they just contractually killed bits service through 3^rd party retailers which means they will likely start unveiling a bunch of shitty fine cast bit kits that are direct order only.  Every kit will be priced at 19.99 or similar and have just enough kinda useful and kinda useless bits on the kit to make you feel like it might be a good price but the quality and service will still be lacking and spending 20 bucks for the one power fist will still leave someone feeling a bit let down.

See Games Workshop is ok with someone leaving the hobby so long as you aren’t ordering from them directly.  Their greatest profit margin is in house where their supply chain takes care of everything rather than paying an outsider.  Their highest degree of control is in house where they do all the training and control all the advertising. No risk of their employees telling you about a competing product or their magazine advertising WarmaHordes.  In the end their goal is pretty transparent.  If they can’t get you into one of their stores and keep you, they don’t want you as a customer.

If you want to understand their elitism look no farther than their “digital products”.  Their “digital products” are nothing more than the iBooks News Stand products.  I get game informer the exact same way, only for 14 bucks a year. Same basic content. Useful index, searchable functionality, fancy revolving 3d images (game characters are cool that way), occasional videos, forced landscape viewing (even though portrait is traditional print lay out and easier to bloody read), and of course outrageously large 300mb downloads.  Only difference is that Games Workshop feels their product is worth more because they made it.  Same goes with their print game books.  We can talk about all the fancy color print pages and stuff we want but I have personally felt for years that the army book prices are trending towards the point they aren’t in my price range. I can pick up a hard cover 200 page DnD supplement for 39.95 but I have to pay 60 for a warhammer one? And then by the models? And the core book? Oh and you’ve made stupid objective markers and psychic power cards too, great. 

I’ve come to realize that I’m not Games Workshop’s market for 40k anymore.  Neither is my Nephew.  It’s not about age.  I don’t feel entitled to anything because I’ve played for so long.  No its more about the very real truth that they don’t care if I patronize them or not.  They aren’t worried about losing me as a customer because they haven’t had me invested in their business model for a couple of years now.

Why is this all important? Well I’ve just realized something very clearly. For a long time side companies like Chapterhouse have been combating Games Workshop’s elitist mentality by keeping bits and specialized models cheap.  But they don’t have to. Games Workshop isn’t killing itself by getting rid of bits or raising prices or driving off customers. It’s giving life to its competition.  I’m not going to start a kickstarter.  But I will predict that someone soon will. Within a few months of Chapterhouse and Games Workshop settling Chapterhouse will start its own game.  Mantic has already started its Warpath game and will kickstart that.  Beyond the Gates of Antares was pulled from kickstarter and arguably was going to be a shitty game, but it will be back.  Within a year Anvil industries will at least talk about making a game as will Wargames Factory within 18 months.  The point is, I can’t look at Games Workshop’s business tactics as “bad for the hobby” anymore. They are good for it, just not good for Games Workshop’s place in it.

That's my deep thought for the day.  Later this week i'll be talking about Star Marines and what that means for my future projects, and hopefully a little about the design of my Heavy Armor troopers.

Recent Emails...

I recently received an email that heavily advised I stop spouting my moral judgements on my blog.  It said in no uncertain terms that even if I don't LIKE intellectual property rights laws they need to exist as they are and I can't change that.

Perhaps I'm to harsh. I know the individual was trying to look out for my well being.  However, I find that quite infuriating to hear.

I completely understand that IP exists in a certain way right now.  I also understand that it took a lot of decisions and arguing before court rooms to get it to this point.  But our country was founded on people speaking out against injustice. Legally condoned injustice has become the norm with intellectual property laws.  We live in a society that allows corporations, groups of people to have more rights than individuals.  That's not right.

Many of those rights corporations have spring not from the truth of the law but from an individuals in ability to defend themselves.  Through a mixture of ignorance and legal dancing corporations convince people they have no right to defend themselves.  As an individual I have the right to speak my mind.  As a moral individual I have both the right and obligation to speak out against what I see as injustice.  When one man oppresses another we call that injustice so why is it not injustice that a corporation oppresses other individuals?

Have I been beaten, exploited, or extorted? Perhaps not, but there are people who are being bullied by corporations. Entire countries that are being raped of their natural resources because corporations "have the right".  People are being exploited by corporations. Children used as labor, artists making a pittance off their own creations, and more.  And other people who are being extorted by corporations.  Individuals who have their hard earned cash or personal creations taken from them by unfair business practices.

Is it wrong for me to speak my mind that these things are wrong?

The United States is in the middle of a class war.  People don't admit it but it is.  There are two ways to be heard in Washington in the united states today.  You can be born part of the "Upper class" born into the 2% that own 98% of everything.  Or you can be a corporation the next largest income bracket.  And of course everyone glosses over the fact that corporations with their free speech only speak the message that the rich people that own them want.  Effectively giving the rich two votes to our one. And of course if you are an employee of the corporations your free speech extends only so far as you can afford to go before you lose your job.

I understand that legally my opinion has little wait. That my morals aren't heard over the reality of legal precedent.  But that is no reason not to speak.

I think people telling me my opinion doesn't matter depress me more than Games Workshop's legal threats.

The presidential elections are coming up.

Shouldn't this be the time for debates like this?

Shouldn't now be a time for a voice to be heard?

I can't change the past but our nation is built on the idea that good men can change the future.

I respect that people are entitled to their opinion.  that they don't have to listen to mine.  But telling me or you not to speak is beyond the pale.  The law can't silence me only embolden me to change it.  I threaten no one, I harm no one, but I won't be silent.

And you shouldn't either.

On the Invention of the Boltgun

Those who are new to warhammer 40k may not recognize the significance of the iconic design of the now ubiquitous bolter.  The icon of space marine supremacy it is a standing testament to imperial weapon design.  Though the Ork Shoota and the Eldar Shuriken Catapult have been with us almost as long none has captured the futuristic essence of Warhammer 40k as well as the Boltgun. 

Within the 40k mythos Bolters are said to be relatively rare.  The fact that the entirety of the Adeptus Astartes and Adeptus Sororitas are equipped with these weapons is meant to imply the eliteness of their individual combat prowess over the more common Imperal Lasgun.   The boltgun’s Strength 4 power is often used as the “average” for Warhammer 40k in the same manner in which a 44 Magnum is the “average” weapon for action movies. Though its background is intended to be incredibly rare its implementation is comically saturated in game.

The term “Bolt Gun” first appeared in Laserburn by Bryan Ansell.  Games workshop began using the term boltgun before the rogue trader days as part of their promotion of the “dark future” line of products. The term has stuck since then with the addition of expanded terminology such as its colloquial name “Bolter” and its pistol and heavy variants.  The exact source of the boltgun as developed by the design team is unknown.  Indeed, I personally experienced some confusion among gamers as to whether the Boltgun was indeed a cased rocket ammunition weapon or a pneumatic metal slug projector.  This confusion from my days gaming in the 80s rested largely with my exposure to metal workers who referred to their pneumatic drivers as boltguns on occasion.  Games Workshop has since defined the Boltgun in a much clearer sense making its intended lineage much clearer. 

Early models which could be considered “space marines” often wielded boltguns with a squared off body made of a single print plate (like below).   This highbred somewhere between a Mac10 and AK47 was a significant aspect of the culture at the time.  Both weapons were key playing pieces in 1980s warfare from escalating gang violence to constant warmongering in Africa they were icons in the news regularly. 

Later designs would evolve further along the path towards modern boltgun we recognize today.  They kept their blocky shape but added technical details which we see in modern weapons such as multipart construction.  The intent of the design is clearly meant to convey both durability and power by making the weapon design bulky and oversized.  Like a head and a half bastard sword in the hands of a barbarian the weapon is intended to be intimidating on sight and add extra gravitas to the wielders awe inspiring presence.

Perhaps more intriguing is the source of the actual weapon idea.  Bob Naismith sculpted the original weapons but the idea for a “boltgun” pre-existed games workshop for 20 plus years.  The essence of the boltgun is a weapon that fires rockets instead of traditional bullets.  This is an idea that began to be envisaged following WW2.  Scientists experimenting with jet proportion following the war theorized the idea of miniaturized missile weapons.  The race to develop rockets that could deliver payloads overseas grew at pace with the tensions of the cold war.  As jet engines began transition to commercial activities in the late 50s the military began experimenting with micro missile design that could take advantage of smaller and smaller jet propulsion systems.  The result was the Gyrojet family of weapons patented and perfected in the early 60s and produced commercially throughout the following decade.

Gyrojet weapons used a 50 caliber caseless rocket round that was stabilized by an internal gyro system.  These dumb rounds had greater range than conventional bullets of similar caliber with considerably less recoil. Early hopes for the weapons included delivering specialized payloads such as explosive rounds.  As well as extra atmospheric operation in the event of conflict in space.  They proved unreliable for military use due to the precise nature of rocket fuel mixtures under various conditions.  However their space age design became quite popular with the public keeping them in production long after military funding had been withdrawn.

Gyrojet rifles were particularly popularized in science fiction.  Many TV shows depicted weaponry with elements of gyrojets.  Weapons from 60s and 70s tv shows often have conspicuous thermal vents and seem to fire caseless rounds propelled by gouts of smoke.  Many popular movies including those in the James Bond series used gyrojet weapons as set props.  Unfortunately the real world intervened with technology.

Running tests on gyrojet weapons proved they reacted poorly to changes of climate and altitude.  The burn potential of rocket fuel varies based on a variety of factors, including temperature and air pressure.  Weapons tested in humid climates proved to be the nail in the coffin however.   Extreme humidity can dampen the firing capabilities of the weapons making it impossible or at least impractical to deploy to the Vietnam conflict.  The result meant that any hope of future military funding was over.  Weapon manufactures scaled back production and the gyrojet faded from lethal weapon to a collectors item.

Of course modern technology could revive the design.  At the time of their development rocket and missile technology was in its relative infancy.  Modern missiles and bombs are much more sophisticated and the science of rocket fuel has come a long way in 30 years.  The military has already developed impressive smart bullets and fire control systems capable of deploying explosive rounds that explode after penetrating walls.  Weapons such as the OICW could greatly benefit from gyrojet’s low recoil and lighter weight construction.

Where is this going? Well I’d like to introduce my new gyrojet series. Astute individuals will recognize the design as an expansion on a one off design I had made some months ago.  The original model was lost but I’ve spent the last three weeks working on reconstructing and modularizing the design. Developing a selection of variants including rifles, pistols, and heavy weapons. 

More than a simple redesign of basic weaponry the chassis of these weapons will become the basis for my future weapons.  I’ve begun ideation of weapon variants to include plasma weapons, lasers, meson particle beams, flame throwers, grenade launchers, linear accelerator rifles, and machine cannons.  I’ll be creating hand held weapons first followed by turret, sponson, and pintle mounted variants.

I’d like to say this is a fast process but it is not.  I’m carefully selecting what design elements I choose to develop and utilize from existing sources such as modern and historical weapon designs.  The first sets will appear shortly with subsequent designs appearing as I have time.

As I have time? Yeah well, I’m making this too…

I’m not done yet, but I’m not down and out either.

Daleks and Disappointment

I live with so much disappointment in life.  It’s so tragic.  I was inspired last week and revived my long abandoned Dalek designs.  This was mostly out of apprehension over my other designs removal but also in anticipation.

The new season of Doctor Who started this weekend and I was very excited that I’d see “the most Dalek’s ever seen on screen at once”.  It’s not by the way. They lied about that.  Advertisers do that I suppose.  There are more daleks on screen in "the parting of ways" (I counted by the way) than in this episode but I suppose there is less variety of Daleks in that episode so whatever...

"Asylum of the Daleks".  I had hoped the return of this iconic villain would herald some deep change in the show.  Something to pull it out of its spiral of boring poorly paced writing and move it back towards the epicness that it once had. 

Don’t get me wrong I’m not a hater, I like the 2005 revival and the original run equally.  I’ve watched Doctor Who since I was a kid.  It is a cherished memory.  The 2005 doctor who breathed life into that memory.  Looking back at the original the subtext and nuance I remember from my childhood don’t exist.  It was campy, badly funded, and generally made little sense even within a single episode.  But I loved it.  The new series took everything that was horrible about the old doctor who and proved it was amazing.  It rewrote the whoniverse so that it was epic and massive and both new and old at the same time.

Then Davies left and Moffat took over.  Some people like Moffat I hear.  Understand, I have zero problem with the Matt Smith as the doctor.  I don’t get a boner over Karen Gillian but I think she makes a splendid companion.  And even what’s his name I always forget is much more tolerable than most male sidekicks that the doctor has had.  But Moffat… Moffat.. Moffat… Moffat!

There is a reason his name is used as a title for evil Imperial commanders in the Star Wars movies.  Some people sing his praises.  I think he is a little kid that’s been given his say and should be slapped upside the head.

See Moffat knows how to do seriously big scenes… sort of…  He also knows how to make characters act… kind of well…  Moffat also knows how to manage a big overarching plot… kinda in the last 5 minutes…

See Moffat is sort of like George Lucas but more tolerable of a human being.  He’s got this addiction to flash in the pan scenes.  For instance! Asylum of the Daleks opens with the Doctor meeting someone on the surface of Scaro.  Scaro… The Dalek homeworld which was destroyed in like episode 3 of the original series.  The red irradiated planet shown which should have been white and petrified according to its original incarnation, if not just totally blown up.  Less aggravating than a planet that was blown up not having blown up, but just as stupid, is how this episode pans across a burnt city scape and up the decaying form of a giant fucking Dalek.  So Daleks built giant Dalek shaped skyscrapers on their desolate not blown up Dalek home world. What's the point of an eye stalk on a skyscraper? Was it pretty pictures, sure.  But was it fucking necessary??? I argue not.  part of the excitement of Doctor Who is you don't know what they hell is happening till it happens.  In the episode "Dalek" you get that a dalek will be in the show but it doesn't start out that way.  And even for 5 minutes you wonder how the beaten half dead dalek is gonna factor in and then bam dalek murder fest happens.  That's how the Daleks should be handled.  From scene one of "Asylum of the Daleks" it seemed pretty obvious the goal was to make my eyes bleed daleks. Its a slap in the face saying, "Oh hey did you know daleks were gonna be in this episode" it insults the viewers in my opinion. Epic scenes are great but come the fuck on they should be epic for the sake of the plot not epic cause you want to blow your CG budget for the year.

And then there is of course the whole, lets make daleks out of people.  And they say it, you make Daleks by subtracting love.... Let me say that again in case your mind is boggled. "By subtracting love".  Subtracting love… Love… FUCKING LOVE!!! How about subtract love and then add 3 million years of radiation and genetic mutation, cloning, geneingeering, eugenics, galactic and inter-temporal war, and of course add a fucking hover tank.  FUCKING LOVE MY ASS!  Why do daleks have to… sigh.  And that is the thing, he knows how to make a pretty picture but misses all the subtext and emotion of pretty much everything.  Saying something like "that how you become like a dalek they remove your emotions, make you cold, make you alone, make you hate everything that isn't you.  So hold on to what matters because love beats hate any day, Amy."  See what I did there.  Its punchy, it builds on itself a bit.  It makes you feel the punch line. And it implies the exact same concept.  Its like moffat thinks we are all 2 year olds when it comes to dialog.

I'd like to say I gave the episode a fair shake.  Maybe I didn't.  Maybe I'm glorifying Davies run on the show but so much more could be done with the concepts at play.  For instance when I read the title of the episode… “Asylum of the Daleks”… I thought, "Well the Dalek race has been through the wringer lately maybe they gave up".  I figured, maybe the new paradigm Daleks, you know the smarty Daleks people hate that Moffat introduced earlier, are magically smarter than the old Daleks.  Maybe they finally realize they lost the timewar and maybe even the general war on everything, if so just maybe they would ask the Doctor to stop the time war.  Imagine that.  A group of Daleks actually asking the doctor to change the course of history so their race doesn’t get wiped out over and over again.  And the doctor would have a chance to save his people before they resurrect Rassilon and go all apeshit nuts on the universe.  How would that be for an opening episode? The entire season could be the doctor trying to rewrite the history of the Daleks to save them from the time war and vicariously insure the timelords never get involved and thus both races are saved.  But he could be thwarted at every turn by the psylence (or however you spell that) or whatever the fuck they were called.  Only in the end to find out that the psylense are agents of the timelords or something awesome where Rassilon is trying to stop the Doctor from Timelocking the Time War.  That would be wicked cool.  Talk about an epic over arching plot... and the puzzle... "Silence will fall when the question is answered."  We all know the question is "Doctor Who?" its retardedly obvious, or maybe i'm just gullible.  It could be as simple as a password to control the Moment and unlock the Time War.   

But of course that’s not what happens.

And I knew that going in.  I went online and looked up some reviews based on the previews.  And I learned the Asylum of the Daleks was really about an Asylum of the classical sense.  The Dalek’s version of Arkam. (yes I say that picturing a Dalek Joker). And from that I though, "ok that would be cool too".  Dalek Sek went insane and had prophetic visions.  They implied the Psyche Daleks in the old series were insane or would go it eventually due to their emotions.  I could see the Daleks making an Asylum to send their crazies too.  Like Sek the crazy daleks would be of use to the "normal" Daleks at some point so they might not kill them just imprison them.  And if the crazies got loose what would they do to the norms that imprisoned them?  I mean that was a cool idea too.   The Doctor kidnapped by the Daleks to go kill a Psychic Kaled mutant that has taken over the asylum and is systematically destroying the Dalek empire.  SO the doctor gets sent to the Asylum and has to fight his way through insane kaled mutants, weird brain-squid tentacle monsters attacking them. That's what the daleks are really, the travel machines are just mechanical tanks they live in. The inmate daleks could have cobbled together  travel machines built from spare parts with strange weapons improvised from whatever they could find.  And at the end a show down with a colossal mutant kaled that would demand to know whether the Doctor really believed saving the normal Daleks was "Right".  But again that’s not what we get. Oh no.  We get dusty time war era daleks in a sewer system.  Why the fuck would you send someone to a mental hospital in a hover tank??? At least take the fucking gun away.  So many missed opportunism.

And lets talk about zombies.  Specifically dalek nanite controlled zombie humans.  WHAT THE FUCK!.  Really? We can’t get away from zombies in popular culture did we really need Doctor Who and the Zombies?  Shit really? I hate the idea of reanimated corpses in general, its physically impossible. Its a trope for the week minded to frighten people. "Oh how do you kill them they're already dead???" If they can't fucking die what's the fucking point of trying to kill them build a fucking wall.  But in doctor who did we really need zombies? A show were no one caries guns and they run around scared a gratuitously large amount already, are zombies really needed? I say not.  Not to mention that’s not Dalek MO.  They make mutant slaves or stick mind control chips in your brain.  They don’t turn you into zombies. That’s more a cyberman thing and even then it would be kinda stupid.  Just fucking stupid.  Not to mention if Daleks had that kind of technology why not just shoot every fucking planet with a nanobomb to zombify everyone. Either the Daleks are fucking idiots or Moffat is and I choose Moffat.

I'm digressing way off my chosen rant but I can't stop now.  So lets touch base on one of my real pet peeves.  The Parliament of the Daleks.  Apparently Daleks now follow a republic system of government.  See and I thought they were a military dictatorship and that’s why they had ranks like Supreme and Emperor but apparently they get to elect pretty much every bronze suited dude into their representative government. So what they are a constitutional monarchy now? Projecting much Britannia?  But wait there's more apparently the Daleks have a psychic network of sorts!  I don’t remember this, they've mentioned Dalek psychic abilities in past episodes so it could be in the old series but I don’t recall it. What this means is that apparently you can delete memories from the Daleks if you can “hack” their psychic network.  They aren't individuals they are worker fucking bees now.  Each Kaled mutant in his personal hover tank is nothing more than a data processor for a dumb terminal hooked to the emperor server. Fuck...  You know, when you think about it, a psychic network makes a parliament useless right? I mean if everyone can share thoughts instantly full on democracy can be done at the speed of thought.  And if the Dalek's had a psychic network why are they always surprised when the Doctor shows up after one of their guards has gone missing?  

The point is they are a military dictator ship!  They live to kill everything but themselves where’s the debate?  They would have built the bridge to nowhere in record fucking time and then exterminated everything at the other end of the god damned bridge.  They are fucking daleks!.

And now to the heart of Moffat’s failure.  See the girl behind the curtain of crazy dalek number one is the future doctors companion.  You know once they dump the dead weight of Amy and Rory’s failing attempts to have a life.  So Amy and Rory just want a regular old life in no where’s vile England.  Amy and Rory's personal life has been a great selling point of the new series. It feels real... sometimes... you know when Amy isn't randomly trying to rape the Doctor or when they aren't magically divorcing in the first five minutes of an episode with NO exposition.  I get it, time travel show.  What's been 6 months off air for us is like 5 years for the girl who waited and the nurse who waited longer.  Fucking understand that, but maybe something should be hinted at, like a fight scene every so often.  Maybe some bickering about shit in the christmas episode something.    Karen and Arthur are good actors and their stage direction when acting has been good but the gaps between their moments and sometimes lack of a consistent connectedness to each other has been problematic. To the point that when Rory says "The unspoken fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me!" is obvious blatant fact not just an insulting attack he made on Amy's character in the heat of passion.  Perhaps it's intended to feel that way and Amy would be better described as "the girl who settled" rather than the "girl who waited." Speaking as a man who had crushes on female friends in college I recognize this type of relationship can be very real, the problem is that the jarring manner in which their relationship is treated on screen feels like their lack of a proper loving relationship is more the product of the writers ignoring them for portions of the show than the intended friction of always question if you're good enough.  this is bad character writing and generally poor pacing not bad acting as such.

Ultimately we need something more exciting in a companion going forward than Amy's desire to be a normal house wife, or maybe Rory's desire to be a normal house wife.  Karen Gillian’s attractive and all but she doesn’t really add awesome sauce to the show.  Her character has become a long string of wishy washy good by and hot and horny hello scenes directed between the two men in her life.  Ultimately entertaining but slowing to the show's pace.  After the first 10 minutes when I figured out the chick they need to rescue was a Dalek I thought awesome! Dalek Companion!.  That’s right! I said it.  Moffat’s greatest mistake was turning his back on this idea.  DALEK FUCKING COMPANION… not a Dalek doing that to a companion… err sorry bad images. No a Dalek as a companion.  Better even, a deranged Dalek that thinks she’s human, as a companion.  How awesome would that be.  Super genius to keep up with the doctor. Teeth to frighten enemies.  Deranged paranoia to keep the doctor on edge.  And of course a tragic back story with lots of plot hooks to draw out over the course of a season.  Of course that would be possible only if Moffat was a good producer.  And if you aren’t sold on the idea, picture this… Dalek painted Hello Kitty pink wearing the 4^th doctor’s scarf!  BAM perfect.  Keep the chick who is gonna play the dalek as she is.  Keep her trapped in a little apartment inside her crazy little Dalek brain just have her sassy attitude follow the doctor around in a fragging tank!  Moffat I hate you…  I hate you because you don't think like this.

I love Daleks though.  I love how repeatedly people make fun of them as wheelie bins but they still manage to terrify and surprise us. They are fantastic and typify the amazing ideas that Doctor Who brings to life. I guess the stupid weeping angels are the new thing now.  Supposedly they’ll be in this new series someplace. Deranged statue aliens, great.  They are just a different type of villains I guess. They are villains like hungry wolves are villains to those who are slow and made of meat.  Daleks are villains to everything that doesn't want to be shot which is pretty much everyone. I hope the Weeping Angels eat Moffat.  Their temporal digestion dissolving his past present and future until he never existed would be justice.  Then maybe Davies would have had another season before he moved on and Who could have found a real successor after that.

Any Who… I’ve uploaded Steven’s relatives.  In my Shapeways gallery you’ll find a variety of new Dalek models.  The formidable Special Weapons Dalek.  The commanding Dalek Supreme.  The agile Spider Dalek.  The colossal Dalek Strider.  And of course the imposing Dalek Emperor.  Note standard, special, supreme and spider daleks should stand approximately 33 mm tall when assembled.  Strider and Emperor dalek should stand approximately 80mm tall.  Each sprue builds one wargame scale Dalek with a group of weapon options.  Due to changes in scaling and design elements new Dalek model parts are not compatible with old Dalek models.  Arms and parts are generally interchangeable between models of same size.  Special Weapon options can be exchanged with neck weapons on the strider or emperor’s arms.  Strider’s heavy weapon is unique in size. Models have been shelled for printing in Frosted Detail.